Journal Entry #632
January 14th, 2012
It has been awhile since I have written on my blog. Like I have said I was facing a personal tragedy that has taken me some time to work through. I am so thankful that I acknowledged the steps one must take to get through. I did not fight them but let them happen. I never knew I had so many tears in me. I am starting to get to the last stage but will still go back and forth between the last 3 stages of grief. Acceptance is the goal.
As my world view changes on my journey and as I try to keep both my eyes and my mind open I continually learn. I see so much waste of potential in humanity focusing on the things that do harm not bring about positive change and happiness.
Sometimes I think I am in the wrong place and in the wrong time. I feel as though I do not belong here and do not fit in. I long for a society where the beings are peaceful and have put their barbaric past behind them. I feel I would fit in there. I just get sick and tired of all the bullshit and harm we do to each other. It is so unnecessary and counterproductive to the species.
I am sick and tired;
Of the way we treat each other.
Of people focusing on the negatives in life and not looking for the good in each other.
Of lies and more lies and more lies as I see fear, lies and drama as the killer of humanity.
Of not acknowledging and accepting the truth on anything.
Of our lack of empathy towards each other.
Of wilful stupidity.
Of just doing the wrong thing for all the wrong reasons..
Of our complete lack of foresight as a species.
Of our lack of humility when called for.
Of our selfishness that does not include the welfare of others.
Of our runaway greed and self indulgent behaviour.
Of all our fighting and violence towards each other.
Of not sharing with each other creating a gap in our well being.
Of just not listening to those that can truly set us free..
Of our belief in things we cannot know to be true and the resulting behaviour of acting on those beliefs.
Of constantly appealing to the emotions that do not bring about the best in us.
Of wilfully hurting others and just not giving a shit…..
Of ignoring reality and the consequences of this action….
Of the blinders we seem to like to wear and the paths of destruction this can leave behind.
I really have hope for our species but at the same time I do believe most of us do not deserve the lives we have been allowed as we waste them. We waste our potential and our limited time in life. I have watched people engage in self indulgent behaviour ignorant to the consequences, to the effect on others. I am sure we all have seen this at some point.
Can we make it? I think we can but it will take a leader unlike anyone we have seen before, A person who shows us a position we have rarely seen and then the willingness to listen to this person.
I really am sick and tired of all the bullshit and to be very frank here most of what we do to each other is absolute bullshit.
It is our fears in life that propel us to run from all that is good, right and true. What I have seen has led me to the conclusion that this is not something we can escape although humanity tries hard with a terrible cost. What is right and true will eventually prevail. One can only run so long until they must turn around. It is then when one faces their fears and is willing to take the road back while difficult well worth it that they will have a worthy life. This is inevitable for all. If we could only learn to accept this before we start running away from truth, what is just and what is right we could rise to our potential as individuals and as a species.
I try to see the good in humanity and the good in all. I try to see the potential not where they are at.
I offer this as a mantra of sorts that if we could all adopt we could begin to achieve who we truly can be;
I will see the good in you even when you do not.
I will see what you can become even when you do not.
I will look beyond where you are at and see where you can be.
I will take your hurt and your pain so that you can be free.
I will be a light when you are lost.
I will be an anchor when you are adrift.
I will see you even when you do not see yourself & I will be there when you are ready to see me.
Gary David Currie 10/12/2011
I believe love can conquer fear, that right will trump wrong and that justice will prevail. I have hope for humanity, I have hope for those lost and we must make the light brighter for those to find their way back.
I feel as though I do not belong here but also realize that I do. I hope one will rise above the voices that deceive us, that this person will value truth and see the good in us all and that we are finally ready to listen.