Yes I tend to say many of the same things over and over and that is because they are worth repeating. We all at times get to a position in our life’s surely more than once where we feel lost , paralyzed as to what to do, where to go, what direction to take and begin to question all that we are.
Personally I am working through this now once again..
I have to tell myself that a 25 year marriage and all that goes along with it, the highs and the lows and all in-between once ended is not just ended.. As it took years to build it will take years to move on from…
I think it is vital that one takes the time and does not rebound into something new to find familiar ground to replace what one has lost to redefine a life and to truly start fresh. I have done this…
One must enter the darkness, deal with the pain and come out the other side. I am doing this..
I wrote 2 songs one back in May 21st which was a significant date for me as it was my wedding anniversary and exactly 6 months that my wife left. I needed to continue the healing process and a month later I wrote the second song.. Now one does not just find closure one just finds a place to fit things in while moving on.
So many really never truly know the pain they cause in others. For me I was treated like a teenage romance had ended but it was a 25 year marriage.. still 6 months after the songs were written I deal daily with the pain of loss but the point is I deal with it.
If we could only step into the mind, the emotions of another would we do what we do to each other, would it even come to the stages it does as our empathy would be forced upon us, there is no denying something once we know it.
“I’m Done” by The Freeman
“Avoid Me” unplugged by Gary David Currie of “The FREEMAN”.
Here are the lyrics to both songs and they can speak for themselves.
I hope this song and video inspire you to feel better about life and that you share this with others as you never know who might need it. There is so much pain in this world so many of us need a connection to help us move on and I offer this song. Please share it, only takes a second and it may just help someone more than you know. Sharing is vital for humanity and we truly need to get better at it.
If you possibly have good audio gear to listen to you will appreciate the song more.
I’m Done by Gary David Currie of The FREEMAN Copyright 06/2012
Words and music by Gary David Currie
Pack your bags and head for home
I can see this life will only brings you pain
If you could reason for a day
Step out of the darkness and see your way
Wipe those tears from your eyes
Take a long deep breath so you don’t fade away
If you could reason for a day
Step out of the darkness and see your way
Corus
I’m done crying through this pain
I’m ready to see the word again
I wanna laugh
I wanna sing
I’m done crying through this pain
Step out the door the sun will shine again
Feel that breeze oh now tingling your skin
If you could reason for a day
Step out of the darkness and see your way
Corus
“Avoid me” by Gary David Currie
Lyrics
She don’t look me in the eyes no more
Doesn’t walk beyond this crowded door
She dreads coming home at night
Even though I will not fight
Is she seeing someone new?
Is she still the girl I knew anymore
Well I don’t want to lose her
But it’s just not up to me
She thinks that I’m a loser
Why did she marry me?
Corus
Her eyes they avoid me
Her touch so cold
She looks at me with anger
As is I didn’t know
Her eyes avoid me
Would have gone to hell and back for her
Worked my fingers to the bone
But she can’t see beyond her feelings
To run away from our home
Break
Is the way life’s supposed to be?
Is this the way it ends
Is she lost or just afraid
Is she still the girl I knew anymore.
Corus
Being human surely can be a painful process at times well in fact most of the time but it is all we got.
This is another of those topics that I have been holding back on until the right time and as I woke up this morning it just felt right. For me this is one of humanities biggest problems. It is a result of others running away and not honouring their commitments. Not dealing with things when they become uncomfortable and they always will and valuing others. It can lead to disastrous consequences for all.
Being abandoned is the most devastating emotion we can cause in another human being as we have destroyed their trust and sense of self worth that they placed in us.
As I have said to many; ”There will come a point when something I do or say will offend you, challenge you and force you to step out of your comfort zone and how you handle this will be the measure of who you truly are.”
Now I will relate my story here and while I am not looking for others to feel sorry for me I am sure there will be many that can empathize.
Since I am all about reality and truth there would be no point sugar coating this and there will be those who read this who will see what I say different but this is my view on it.
I like to think of myself as a caring, kind, loving, deeply devoted, loyal, intelligent, passionate human being. I would help anyone I could and not hesitate in acting out of empathy for another human being. I do not trust easily but in stages but once my trust is offered it will be the best trust you can have. I will take a bullet without hesitation for those I love and fight for the rights of others. I will not stand by the sidelines and when I am in I am in for the long run. I will support others and share in their journey. I will value who they are and meet them best I can where they are at. I will not and have never abandoned those I love and anyone I have made a commitment to and yet all but a few have abandoned me.
At times in my life this has been devastating. Even now as I put myself out there with my music, words and art those I love have abandoned me. Not all of course as my children and few others are there for the long run. Most of my family has offered no support in fact they have turned and ran the other way. Almost all my friends well at least I thought they were my friends have cut and run at some point and yet when this was done to them they knew the feeling, how painful it was and still will do it to others.
There is nothing more painful than watching the breakup of a family and the consequences that will follow when people stop trying, when they give up on the commitments and when they run away. The ripple effects of this will last for years to come but most that leave never see this only what they want for the moment. In fact most will not even acknowledge that they have abandoned those they said they loved and the justification they will use afterwards simply boggles my mind. Very few will ever admit they have done anything wrong.
Abandoning your children is the worst thing you can ever do and they will deal with this the rest of their lives so I hope the reason one leaves is worth it. To me it never will be.
The list I have personally is huge and yet I keep trying, keep trusting and offering who I am when I know that most of the time I will be fucked over.
Again I tell this to relate to others not to get sympathy.
My dad left basically never to be seen or heard from again when I was 8 years old.
My mom while trying to do her best as this was a hard time for her left me in an institution for emotionally disturbed children at this time. 3 months of hell and then later shipped to my grandmas for a year of hell. My brother did his best but he was not in the position to take me. Friends, girlfriends and now the most important person in the world to me and this is the short list.
Yet I still put myself out there because what I have learned out of all of this is that it was not me. I was not the problem they were but it took a long time to get there and I am a strong person so imagine those that are not and what they will go through.. Just because many consider me the black sheep and see it as a negative that is their issue not mine..
Being abandoned or given up is the most devastating emotion we can cause in another human being. While your reasons may be justified to you if you have done this I will have a hard time agreeing.
Life is full of ups and downs and often things happen to us beyond our control that require us to basically start over. This certainly can be terrifying especially if we have lost things, relationships or anything else we valued. While this is incredibly stressful it may be necessary as events have been building up that must be addressed.
You would be surprised how often this happens to people, we re-invent ourselves, we come through a tragedy or we just need a major change in our lives. I think this is vital to our survival and advancement as a species and as individuals, stagnate life’s breed apathy.
In essence we find out what we are made off, what we are capable off when we no longer are in a position to just wait for things to happen. Will it bring out the best in us or will we crumble under the pressure?
I find myself in such a position and while terrifying at times it certainly springs one into action. I have driven across the country (Canada) to get a fresh start. I will tell you waking up in a new town with no place to live, no job and responsibilities of a child to take care of will definitely put one into action.
This is where we also see what others are made of, will the people we meet be kind and help us? Society is set up based on your worth as a credit number and when all that is taken away people don’t know how to view you. Many think you are a failure and that if you have had to walk away from things in life that your value as a human being is diminished. The value of a man’s word is all we really have in the end and one just hopes that people can see this as the truly important thing.
I have also found that this basically in one form or another happens to us all but we forget this when things are good. This is where empathy towards others should be strong remembering how we needed that help when we were vulnerable.
I have no idea where life will take me, all I know is who I am and all that goes with this. I will say that the kindness of others has so far been noticed as this is what I had hoped for. If people are willing to look beyond the circumstances and see the human being behind them the world would be better off.
It is the fear of the unknown that scares us each moment we are afraid and this is a powerful motivator if used properly. If one realizes what they do know as the foundation to tackle the unknown then I can see amazing things happening.
As I sit here in a home where I am staying that my oldest son set up until we got settled I am reminded of the possibilities of this moment to start over while being afraid at the same time. One hopes that luck will prevail and that balance in the universe will swing ones way. Where I have moved to is breathtaking in its beauty. I look out the window and see the mountains close by and a new town full of possibilities. As I do this the reasons I am here continue to plague me as I hope that the loss that put all of this into action will somehow be found. My emotions are in full gear right now in so many directions and trying to balance them out is as hard as starting over in fact it is all part of the process.
I must concentrate on what I do have the ones who are there and the skills I have developed over my lifetime to start over. I am not the only one starting over in this situation and to see how my sons have handled themselves during this process has been amazing. I am always worried for them as they are my responsibility and the ones I of course love so I want the very best for them. Right now the best is to learn how to go through this, to develop a skill set that will serve them well in life. All I am experiencing they are as well. So I am fortunate to know that I am not alone in this as well as those who have offered support from a distance. In the end though I am the one responsible for what will happen and I can never forget this. The burden and the triumph will be mine to claim as it will be for my sons and anyone who rises above their station in life.
One must take an attitude of us against the world and hope that the world will not be cruel.
I have had to take a couple of days to think about this one as many of my recent conversations have yielded one of these answers. No matter how I put it people will not like what I say if the feel they are being attacked ort criticized but one should be open to critique if they are to learn and grow as a human being. Let’s start off with a great quote;
I think the trouble with being a critical thinker or an atheist, or a humanist is that you’re right. And it’s quite hard being right in the face of people who are wrong without sounding like a fuckwit. People go “do you think the vast majority of the world is wrong”, well yes, i don’t know how to say that nicely, but yes. ~ Ellen Degeneres
This will appear to offer that I think I am more intelligent than others and I will say this is true, you may call it arrogant if you like but it is simply the truth. There are also plenty of people smarter than I am which is also the truth.
The examples of this are countless, stupidity and ignorance seems to have no boundaries and there are those who have no problem bringing harm to those that threaten them in any way.
So many continually refuse to use the brains they have for anything other than silliness. We will not listen to those who can actually offer us a better world and violence and intimidation is still a major force for control in this world.
If we can’t agree on simple concepts such as truth, empathy, respect and we continue to value dominance instead of co-operation then we will not get anywhere. Short term gains are easily lost.
Another example this one on Aids denial, yes really Aids denial..
· An example of a discussion and even when I offer the counter evidence to his claim he continues to deny, my point was to get all the facts and information before one makes a claim or conclusion;
Watch this film that interviews virologists, biologists, scientists and doctors who will give their professional factual testimony on the topic of HIV. It also interviews people from CDC who make regulations on how to diagnose someone with HIV- they don’t make sense
Gary David Currie ……Ok then http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIDS_denialism
AIDS denialism – Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia
Gary David Currie…………. Look you said they created aids in a laboratory in 1975. If you are going to profess something as true then be sure you have all the facts.
Frankie Gotz ……………wow why are you part of this group. you obviously haven’t taken the red pill homie..
Don’t believe everything you hear off wikipedia silly boy.
Let me tell you something.
This is right out of the Center for Disease Control book that is given to doctors and shows them how to diagnose people with HIV.
You can be
diagnosed with HIV without even taken an HIV test.
You can be diagnosed with HIV even if you come up negative in the test.
This CDC flow chart made by CDC (these regulations are applicable all over the world)
Frankie Gotz……….. And secondly there is no scientific evidence to this day that proves HIV is real.. wikipedia is not evidence
watch the film, it’ll prob change your whole out look on it
Gary David Currie…………. I’m sorry if you want to buy into every conspiracy you go right ahead. I go by evidence not by a few fringe deniers of something.
Frankie Gotz….
So yeah if I see the lies, i will expose.
There is no scientific evidence that HIV even exists.
HIV and AIDS are not the same thing. And I bet you didn’t even know.
What I am presenting to you is not a theory. The diagram is from CDC, it clearly states you can be diagnosed with HIV without even having an HIV test (on the left)
The film I provided is not a ‘conspiracy theory’ video. It is a professional video that interviews hundreds of virologists, biologists, scientists and doctors around the world. It interviews both sides- Center for Disease Control (the ones perpetuating the lie of HIV) and the ones who oppose the lie of HIV.
And I’m sorry that your brain blocks out information
PS- Wikipedia is the tool the elite use to spread dis info… it’s filled with tons of real facts, but it’s also filled with tons of disinfo
Gary David Currie ………..Actually my brain looks at all the information not just what supports a pet theory. Look I am going by your opening remark which you still have not proven. I have made my point go ahead and do your thing.
Frankie Gotz ………You haven’t proven anything, you’ve provided me with Wikipedia that has tons of lies in it.
I have provided you with the necessity to further look into it. Instead you push aside and label it ‘a pet theory’ so in conclusion, yes you do block out info if you do not look at what I gave you. You have the free will not to look at it, but then my comment stands justified.
HIV/AIDS denial – The Skeptic’s Dictionary – Skepdic.com
www.skepdic.com
“…the magazine Continuum, run by HIV-positive dissidents, shut down when its editors all died of AIDS-related causes.”*..
Gary David Currie…….. Like I said get all the info not just what supports your beliefs then make a rational informed conclusion before you write a song about it. Sorry I am not trying to be an ass but as you said;
Frankie>>>>>>So yeah if I see the lies, i will
expose.>>>
Well I do the same. the red pill does not mean you but into every pile
of nonsense out there it means you actually look for what is true.
This did not take long at all to see that there is more research you
need to do before making claims.
Frankie Gotz…… K k sorry sorry, i just got all worked up.
First I never made this song, it was Sabac Red.
And Secondly, ok i don’t know for a fact if AIDS was created in 1975.
And Third I am asking you to watch that film, because HIV is a lie.
The more people they diagnose with HIV the more fear they can create that there is this killer disease out to get everyone. And plus if people are gettin diagnosed with HIV without even takin an HIV tests, this means these ‘new patients’ are vulnerable to HIV medications that subtract their health and actually kill them quicker.
Look into AZT medication for HIV patients.. It kills them off.
This one chick was diagnosed with HIV 1995. She took another test in another country and she came out negative for HIV. You can have HIV in one country and not have it in the other.
This chick in the film below: She used to be part of an organization called “women at risk” for HIV. Everyone in that organization except for her and 2 other people, were taking a medication called AZT.
Everyone in that organization except her and 2 other people died- meaning everyone that was taking the medication died. and it’s been 16 years since then and she’s
still alive, she most likely would’ve died takin the medication.
So look into it, spread truth, because the ppl who r infected with HIV might not even be sick!
Gary David Currie….. Ok Frankie Cool with the song but please if you are serious about this topic read the link to the credible links of scientists before you just go ahead and believe.
This link explains it nicely and offers tons of verified scientific support.
I have seen the film and that is exactly why I offered you counter arguments to what you offered. Look at the big picture not the little conspiracy. There is a method to verify what is true it is called science.
Sorry but the vast majority of people infected with aids are sick and any credible organization that works with aids or HIV will call bullshit right away on this documentary.
you say you want the truth but really do you?
http://www.skepdic.com/aidsdenial.html
HIV/AIDS denial – The Skeptic’s Dictionary – Skepdic.com
www.skepdic.com
“…the magazine Continuum, run by HIV-positive dissidents, shut down when its editors all died of AIDS-related causes.”*..
Frankie Gotz ……no no, HIV and AIDS are two different things.
There is scientific evidence that AIDS is real
HIV is not real, there is no scientific evidence, so I’m asking you to give me the scientific evidence,
I don’t think you’ve the seen the film, I’m not calling you a liar.. But trust me that film is pretty convincing that HIV is a lie
Anyway man thanks for the link, of course I will check it out.
Peace
Gary David Currie ………..Again read the info and don’t rely on the film.. There is plenty of evidence that HIV is real..I have linked you to the evidence..
You can start here tons of evidence. Other than that I am not going to do your homework for you.. Credible links and peer reviewed scientific papers. Overwhelming evidence to counter what you just said..
yes the film is convincing and that is the point as they have a hidden agenda. Go with the science not the pseudoscience.
Frankie Gotz…….. that’s one view point, a small percentage- the elite of the health industry.
what about the viewpoints other 90% who have examined HIV pictures. There is no scientific evidence bro.
it’s not there. HIV is an infection they say that causes AIDS.
I skimmed through some of the articles there.. Those are articles, not evidence… Evidence includes having physical evidence, meaning they should have the virus known HIV captured and contained. They dont’ man. Even the pictures they have of HIV- professionals ALL around the world will say that is not evidence, and the pictures of the HIV itself are very not clear.
They have physical evidence that AIDS exists, so how come they don’t have physical evidence that HIV exists??
Gary David Currie…….. Ok then continue on in the delusion my friend I just gave you all the scientific evidence what more can I say.. Crazy begotts crazy.. Good luck.
Adam A………….I will seriously insist that Frankie Gotz takes a look [with an open mind and consideration] into every counter-claim by Gary David Currie on this topic. I’ve been a victim of health frauds that directly affected my health and have only begun waking up recently. Maybe your belief is not currently affecting your health in any way, but I just believe that the general principals of being realistic and scientific are good. [scientific not meaning 'following some elite group' but rather acknowledging that many credited individuals and groups from different avenues agree on the same topic]
As you can see people just refuse to get all the facts before they go off on their cause. This is just one example now add the same formula to the bigger causes like religion and politics and you have a recipe for disaster
We think we are so safe in our little cocoons and bubbles but the real world does not work this way. Crime is everyway human rights abuses abound on this planet. Major crime syndicates, dictators and religious dogma cause so much suffering. Ignoring the big ones there are even small delusions that threaten are safety daily and we just seem to not pay attention fuelling this by our ignorance.
My point is simple until we change the way we think we will always have so much garbage that is not in our best interest. It only takes a few bad apples but we have more than a few, When people are willing to kill you if you disagree with what they do or say and this is allowed to happen then we have huge problems.
