Journal Entry #697
November 6th, 2012
Well it has been almost a year since my life was drastically changed. November 21st will be the exact date and the roller coaster has been quit a ride.
I have had to make a huge change, face my fears and basically start my life over. So what have I learned in all of this.
The first thing is that the process of grieving is a must to get through anything, we must follow it, and accept it for things to get better, to heal and to move on in our lives. I have also learned that very few will do this; they think they do but they do not. I am talking about the 5 steps of grief, bargaining, denial, anger, depression and appetence.
On a personal level I embraced it and actually put it into motion to deal with the situation of my wife not wanting to be married to me anymore. I knew it was going to be painful and I offered her a choice and she chose to leave. This set in motion everything I had to deal with.. I knew the basic price I was going to pay and the most likely outcomes.. At this stage I am open about what happened but the details will be kept private…
Because I value and champion the truth to deny this would be against all I follow and promote so I accepted the process and believe me it was and still is incredibly painful not just for me but for others as well.
So I am out the other side, 6 hard months of getting through the painful part and getting to acceptance.
Now what I have learned is that almost everyone I have met or had been close to will not get past the stage of denial and bounce back and forth between the other stages of anger and depression. So many live their lives in these stages and then try and escape dealing with things through the many various escapes we have as humans.
Because I am not one to be fooled to play games with and I see past all these excuses to not deal with things I am a threat to many so I have lost many along the way. I have lost friends, acquaintances and most of all loved ones as they avoid me and blame me. Now play this out when all those involved are at the same level of avoidance and you can see how many of the problems as humans we create continue to not get dealt with.
In short so many are walking around in denial on so many things..
Secondly and related very few if any will face the truth, will face thier fears which is usually the cause of all the problems the root of the denial… This is huge and I see it everywhere..
When this happens people build their walls and don’t let others in but of course they cannot get out as well..
I have seen people willing to do terrible things to those they say they loved, to deny what will set them free and to continually blame and focus on the harmful things in life when the solution is easy to see if one is willing. I have written about these and if you want to and are seeking the truth you can scan through my many articles to find them or message me as I will talk with you.
Now again on a personal note it will be a hard task for me to find someone to be with as it will take someone very strong and secure in who they are to be with me. I have much to offer but most are not willing to accept it and to face life and reality on realities terms.
I have learned that people like me and we are few and far between are the last thing people want to deal with as many say they want the truth, honesty and openness until they actually have it..
I have seen so many give into their fears instead of facing them and the price they pay daily is enormous, I have seen this transpire into so many of the issues we have around the world. I have seen wilful ignorance rule the day.
I will continue to follow my path promote what I do and live my life to the fullest. I will offer what I see as probably being true and hope that others are willing to seek the truth as well.. I will accept the loss of those I have loved as best I can knowing I did nothing of significance to lose them and they have just ran away. I see this in so many running from the fears.. so much running, avoidance and escaping which of course is an illusion.
I truly see how we can get out of these daily messes we create but no one wants to listen and that is the key here no one wants to listen because if they do they will have to face what they want to avoid. Thing is you will face it either way on its terms or yours…
Fear is the mind killer….
If only people would just stop running and face things this would change everything.